Romance, the extension of love and intimacy, is probably dead nowadays. You may think that it’s a strongly negative claim and love is still ‘in the air,’ but many situations can intensify this truth. You just have to look everywhere and remain observant.
If you’re still wondering if romance is truly dead, then you just need to mull over these challenging points.
The Dating Scene has Changed Drastically
We all love dating, since humans are highly social creatures. Through dating, you can meet potential mates and occasional disappointments. You can say that dating is a rigorous process. First, you have to take the risk and meet up with someone you don’t know. Second, you have to keep the dating moments continuous—bearing the ultimate hope that all your efforts will lead to romance. Dating is not for the weak-hearted, and you need to work hard for it.
You can compare dating to farming. Plant the seeds, watch them grow, and look after them. You have to be careful in what seeds you’re planting. But we can’t deny the fact that times have shifted and the whole dating game changed into something more complex.
Can technology be blamed for this change? The answer is yes and no. Yes, because it made everything easy and dates became too ‘transactional.’ No, because technology can bridge several dating gaps, such as time and distance.
This caused people, especially those ones who are looking for mates quickly, to become more competitive than ever. Admit it—you felt that way too. Self-promotions and subtle remarks in online chats have become way too common. This diverted the dating scene from the purity (or intensity) of romance.
Maybe it’d useful if we can go back to the old times. It’s impossible to get rid of technology now, but limitations can be set. The dating environment will continue to change, and the real trick is adaptation.
We Are Too Distracted
Romance is an envious force—you have to dedicate yourself fully, in order to master its complexities. This goes the same for your life partner.
Back then, being romantic totally depended on your efforts. It matters to your partner if you’re touchy or your whispers evoke passion and heat of intimacy. Every moment is treasured and you have to focus on the connection between you and your partner.
Now, it’s different. Every day, you might notice that you’re frequently bombarded by things that cause you to worry too much. Bills don’t pay themselves. It’s time to pick your laundry and attend that little poker game. Your boss has another task for you. Expensive hobbies await you. These concerns get in the way of true romance.
Do we need to throw away our priorities and become 100% romantics? Not at all, and not even close to that. If you feel that you’re too distracted, just step back and take things slow. Imagine that you’re putting all of your worries in a temporary basket. You’ll just get back to them once you’ve fulfilled your duties to your partner.
Limit your distractions, and romance will come back to your life. Efficiency is the key to romantic prowess. (more…)
Becoming efficient in everyday tasks is a goal that you should aim for. If you’re highly efficient, you can finish tasks easier and you’ll quite likely have greater results. Success can follow you everywhere if efficiency is your best friend.
Now, here’s the golden question: how can you become truly efficient in accomplishing your daily tasks? Listed below are some strategies that you can use.
Understand your Primary Objective
Routines make the world go round, and they determine the progress of humanity. If you step back and observe, you can see that your daily routines happen automatically. Everything is rooted in your habits, from when you get up in the morning until you wrap up for the day. This is essentially good, but there are times when routines can be counterproductive.
If you feel that routines are wearing you down, it’s time to set a Primary Objective. See, most people don’t have these objectives in their lives. They follow their routines blindly, without realizing that their strategies are already inefficient. A well-crafted objective can make the difference. This will raise your morale and help you accomplish your tasks with rational speed and enthusiasm.
Write down your objective in a small notebook, and keep reading it at intervals throughout the day. You can also remember the objective if you feel distracted or bored.
Choose Where You Spend Your Energy
Time management is already an old adage—you’re now aware that time is important for everyone. What you should focus on is energy management. Before the day starts, you’re provided with energy that you can spend on your tasks.
Remember to choose your tasks well and eliminate those that are draining your energy. Ask yourself if a certain task is really important for the day. Another useful method is to choose tasks that are connected to your Primary Objective. (more…)
While most hobbies are connected to men, the world is now seeing the rise of women hobbyists. This is something that you should look forward to, since there’ll be greater support for any hobby that you’re going to choose.
Here are some of the best hobbies that I can recommend to make your life more exciting and interesting.
If you’re going to ask many hobbyists around the world, you’ll see that most of them will recommend gardening. This is, indeed, a nice pastime and can even help ease the stress in your everyday life. Do you want to kick it up a notch? Then it’s time to try sustainable gardening!
Sustainable gardening is all about growing your own food and micromanaging resources. Here, you get to plant your own crops in a small backyard lot, and you can work your way from there. Once you become more experienced in backyard farming, you can move on to culturing small animals and insects (should you wish to).
People will also suggest self-defense, since this is a common hobby and very useful in all instances. If you’re going to delve into the world of martial arts, the best discipline that you can learn is Bruce Lee’s Jeet-Kune-Do. This discipline is considered the umbrella of all martial arts, and it can also open your mind to philosophical insights.
To learn this, you have to employ the services of a renowned master. Keep in mind that learning Jeet-Kune-Do requires dedication and immense willpower. In the long term, you’ll be thankful for learning the discipline.
Wood is one of the most abundant resources that you can rely on. It’s great to focus on woodworking because it’ll help you become more creative. Some may think that this is a man’s hobby—you can prove them wrong.
Start by learning the different types of wood, and create a mental picture of the project that you want to accomplish. Small projects are recommended, such as paper weights, bookmarks, miniatures, and small tables. From there, you can move on to big projects. Before getting into it, it’s advisable to learn from someone who is experienced in wooden crafts. (more…)
So, you have just broken up and you feel extremely angry. I understand. I’ve been in your shoes before – and in fact I was in that’s the same situation when I started this blog.
It’s not an easy thing to deal with any breakup. Although some breakups are easier to get over with, others are just so hard.
If you are dealing with a recent breakup, among the first emotions that you have to manage is anger, especially if you’ve been cheated or left for someone. In order to deal with this emotion, you have to understand the heart. Here’s one simple truth I’d like to share: Once your heart feels strongly connected or attached with another person, it can be very hard to let go.
Think of your heart as a seed bed where you plant your love for another person. If the connection is so strong and deeply rooted, the heart tends to still hang on. But if the other person chooses not to hang on and let your heart loose, it can leave a very deep wound. The emotional wound can be deeply felt. This vacuum within your heart can be easily filled with hatred, with anger. For many, healing the wounds would take a tremendous amount of time but you can do something to mend it.
During the initial period, you have to deal with the emotions that want to burst out. You can let out your anger in different physical activities. I would suggest buying a grappling dummy, like those found at this website. Cut out a picture of your ex, attach it to the dummy’s face, and do anything you want to with him. This way, you can channel your energy and charge your emotions towards a safe subject. You also won’t harm yourself. Better still, you can turn the emotions into a motivation to start working out. Enrolling in a fitness exercise can offer distractions from whatever negative emotions you have.
The key in managing anger after a breakup is to channel the emotions into physical energies. However, you have to channel it into a safe activity. It would also help to talk about the person. Share your emotions with someone you are open and feel comfortable with. The last thing you’d ever want is to keep the emotions hidden in the deepest recesses of your heart. It can be very emotionally taxing and consuming. You have to confront anger head on so it won’t hunt you forever.
You can look for new hobbies or enroll in a local club or learn new skills which can all help you forget and move on from the emotions you are currently in. Find things that you are previously interested about. Some may find dating a good way to deal with anger, but it’s something I don’t really subscribe to. I would date someone only when all wounds have healed. By making your heart available instantly after heartbreak, you are only exposing the wounds in your heart and making it harder to heal. Avoid putting yourself in an endless cycle of heartbreaks by dealing with all emotions, healing all wounds, and moving on.
One fact about relationships that everyone accepts is that they are mighty difficult to maintain. You need to have plenty of focus, dedication, and hard work to make a relationship survive. Finding your significant other is not an easy task.
Sometimes you will be frustrated beyond belief, abandoning all thoughts of finding the right partner for you. Even if you manage to find a suitable person, it does not end there. You need to put in more effort to maintain it. Well, even if this may sound a bit discouraging (!) there is still hope. Here are some pointers to make the hard work easier.
The right balance
Whenever things look depressing, you need to keep your cool and avoid letting fear take control over your actions and thoughts. If you don’t do this, you will find that the fear of losing your partner becomes a corroding factor that replaces compassion and respect you feel for your partner with resentment and anger.
Over time you will find the relationship, you have painstakingly formed destroyed by your own insecurities. Whenever you are under stress, try relaxing techniques like meditation, going for a walk, swimming etc. One of my friends has a huge aquarium, which she says is very calming for her mind. When indecision or anxiety plagues her, she just gazes at the fish to calm down and find the right solution. Although maintaining such a huge aquarium is a big task, she says it is easy mainly because of the aquarium filter that she had bought at Canisterfilterguide.com.
The best method to reduce stress in a relationship is by providing emotional space and by being proactive. Partners should not try to control each other in the belief that the lives of the other are entirely their responsibility. While this may sound easy, it is quite difficult to accomplish but the results you get are worth the hardship you undergo.
When both partners make it a point to understand the other’s feeing and are willing to compromise and be generous, emotionally both will benefit from it. While it is always not possible to give 100 percent of cooperation in this way, at least ninety percent of such attitude is necessary to make the relationship a success. This way there will be no room for stress or anxiety in the relationship. And speaking of stress, listening to my friend talking about her aquarium made me think of buying an aquarium for my home. I asked her to help me with the purchase and set up. She recommended using top quality tank filters like those at http://canisterfilterguide.com/best-fish-tank-filter-reviews/for complete filtration of the tank, as it is a vital factor to keep the fish healthy and thriving.
In your hands
While many partners think that their happiness lies in their partner it is not so. You need to first get rid of this mindset and start believing that you are solely responsible for your happiness and your partner for his happiness.
When you expect someone to make you feel whole or the other way around, it is a wrong way to find happiness and fulfillment you want in a relationship. It would be much better when you find that you can achieve the fulfillment regardless of the deeds of your partner. This is indeed a startling revelation that you will truly appreciate, as it will change all your relationships in life for the better.
The title of this post alludes to and borrows from the love song sung and performed by American folk hero and veteran pop diva, Cher. Some years ago, her song, There’s Just Not Enough Love in the World, stormed some of the world’s top hit parades, following on the overwhelming success of Cher’s epicural, groundbreaking album, Believe. Now, that title turned out to be so influential that even US President, Barack Obama, inserted that theme into his successful campaign to become US President for the first time. It’s a distant echo now, but the overwhelming theme at the time was Change We Can Believe In.
Believe and you can still love
But, essentially there was nothing devious or exploitative about his campaign message and true to his now proven form, Mr. Obama has done everything within the limits of his presidential powers to essentially promote love and the well-being of all citizens. As Obama enters the final months of his presidency, another frontrunner who shall remain nameless and hopefully forgotten soon, is doing everything in his power to encourage people, particularly ‘his’ people to hate each other still more, just so he can get into the White House.
Because given this billionaire realtor’s proven limitations, there’s just no other way, other than through dangerous sensationalism, that he can have his way. Now, if only we could have more politicians of the caliber of the great Mahatma and the lion of Africa, Madiba. Or for that matter, our very own Dr. Martin Luther King, Jnr. In fact, as far back as 2013 now, it was Mr. Obama who gave one of the most rousing and inspirational eulogies in honor of Nelson Mandela just after he passed away.
Love yourself and you love others
There’s no doubt in my mind that Barack Obama had peace (and love) in his heart before he made that historic speech. Prior to telling the rest of the world that Mandela inspired him to want to become a better human being, the world’s most powerful man openly and warmly shook the hands of Raul Castro, president of neighboring Communist Cuba. A short interlude from this inspirational message on how leaders, true leaders, that is, can exercise their given powers to spread the message of love and hope to the rest of the world, tells us that if you, as a responsible citizen, truly love those near to you, you love yourself and exercise care at all times.
Driving late at night on an open country road you will have installed one of the many light bars recommended by http://lightbarreport.com/ on the top of your truck’s roof or in the front of that vehicle’s grill. We could choose many other metaphors to make our point. But like love itself, time is running out on us.
Fortunately, the potential is still growing for the world to begin falling in love with itself once more. And just two brave women come to mind that stand out above the rest of exceptional leaders. One woman may yet become Myanmar’s first democratically elected president, while the other younger woman dreams of one day becoming Pakistan’s prime minister.
After anticipating your night out all week, having your date do a no-show can make you feel at wit’s end and may well make the relationship sour fast, if this happens often. Being stood up is something that everyone hates and find difficult to cope with. I’ve often seen many of my friends in such a situation and have similar experiences of my own too.
Handling such a vile and neglectful act needs finesse. While dating itself is not a bed of roses, this is taking things a bit far. The injured party will feel anger, disappointment, and embarrassment and even go to the extent of a split up. Here are some tips I’ve come up with to help you deal with such a situation.
The cool act
Being cool in whatever circumstances you are in, is the epitome of a successful leader and this holds good in a relationship too. When you practice being cool and unaffected by your partner’s absence, it will help you control your temper, instead of the other way round. Although this feat is hard to accomplish, if you can keep the disappointment, embarrassment, and anger in check, you can think and act clearly and save recriminations later on.
During my college days, when my date did not show up, I went right to his home and gave him an earful of what I thought about his behavior. And not satisfied with it, I pushed him right into the swimming pool in his yard. Fortunately, for him, the pool had a good heating system or with the low temperature, he would have really suffered. I had been thinking about the date all week long right from the dress to the conversation, when he didn’t turn up even after 30 minutes from the time we had agreed upon.
While the situation may seem bad at the outset, you need to understand that yours is not a rare thing but happens often in relationships and may occur again to you later on. So getting riled up and bursting a blood vessel, is not the sensible way to act. While it sucks to be stood up, you should nevertheless avoid dwelling on it, as it will only make you more bitter or upset.
I’ve just the remedy for such betrayals. Instead of drowning in drinks or drowning your partner as I did, you can call up one or all of your friends and have a great time. Swimming pools are made for having a whale of a time and with excellent pool systems such as those at PoolHeaterWorld, you can even have a impromptu pool party at night, instead of plotting your date’s downfall. If your date does call to apologize, you can stun him by saying how good a time you had and turn the tables on him.
Sometimes it may happen that there may be a genuine reason for your date not turning up as agreed. You can call after waiting for say, 15 minutes to ensure everything is all right. If your call is not picked up, you can leave a message. If after 30 minutes you still get no reply, it shows that your date has left you in a lurch.
Women in general love makeup. In fact, rarely can you come upon a woman who hates applying cosmetics. And contrary to popular belief, makeup is not entirely a bad thing. It actually serves to improve your appearance and illuminate your face. With makeup, a woman feels that she is truly an individual whom people pay attention, listen to, seek company, or ask opinion of.
In short, it boosts her confidences and makes her look appealing. The confidence gained in this way increases with time. In addition, with the confidence, grows the respect she gains at work, home, and elsewhere too. The feelings of insecurity are done away with. Instead, it is replaced by courage and self-assurance leading to marked improvement in each and every sphere.
Applying makeup, wearing nice looking shoes and clothes are all ways to make you look and feel nice and these are done irrespective of the age, weight and complexion you have. Even if you have freckles or blemishes, the makeup is considered as a sort of armor. Incidentally, blemishes can be easily removed using advanced skin treatments.
Makeup, hair, and nails are considered as three important aspects of beauty. For hair care, beauty salons offer the best care. The salons take care of your hair, makeup, and nails. There are specialists such as pedicurists, nail artists etc. to give you a completely personalized makeover.
Nails are treated with special care at exclusive nail salons, which provide the type of care that cannot be done by us. The nails receive personalized attention as they are part of you, even when the makeup is not present or your hair is not done properly, or if you are not wearing the finest of your outfits. Nails manage to make a dynamic statement on their own. When you care for you nails, it will reveal that you are a confident, healthy, and competent woman.
Makeup unlike nails or hair can be done on your own. You don’t need a salon to put on makeup every day. Makeup is important as our face displays our feelings and our deepest essence. It helps to interact well with other people and conveys our feelings more clearly.
Since everyone looks at our face when we talk to them, it is important to apply the right makeup, so you are understood better. If you have acne scars or other blemishes, using the state of the art microdermabrasion machine at http://www.camilasbeauty.com/ will help in getting a glowing and blemish free skin.
At the workplace, studies reveal that women who are good looking receive higher pay when compared to those who are homely or plain. And this is true elsewhere to. Since everyone is born with some sort of look or other, the responsibility lies in each individual to make the most of the appearance.
Appearances can be improved in many ways including surgery, exercise, and diet. While these take plenty of time to reveal their effect, you can use proper cosmetics, fragrances, and makeup application to look beautiful. With beauty comes confidence and the confidence further increases your allure. When you apply makeup the right way, it will improve the natural beauty and draw attention to the best features you have, while hiding the flaws if any. You will be showing competence, better attention to detail, self-awareness, and pride.
Most people don’t consider food as a means to satisfy their hunger. Food is seen more as a stress reliever, comfort giver, or treat. Whenever I feel low, I buy a big carton of ice cream and eat it watching my favorite TV show. A friend of mine eats chocolate, whenever she has a fight with her partner. And there are others who have other similar cravings for special types of foods or just food in general.
But this type of emotional eating does not fix the emotional issues. It actually makes the feeling worse, as in the aftermath, the initial issues remain and the guilt of overeating would add on to it leading to further depression.
When you learn to recognize the triggers for the binge eating, you can take a positive step towards freeing yourself of the cravings and compulsive eating. This helps to change habits that had earlier sabotaged all your attempts at dieting.
Understanding the condition
Whenever you use food as a means to feel better, it is called emotional eating. The food you eat this way is supposed to satisfy your emotional needs rather than filling your stomach. While if this happens occasionally and you overeat to celebrate or as a reward, it is not bad.
For instance, you are at a barbeque party and you love the nicely grilled meat and eat more than you had initially intended to it is not emotional eating. Speaking of bbqs, I was recently invited to a bbq. The food was simply delicious. The host said it was due to her wonderful bbq smoker- check out this site for more info.
On the other hand, if eating is the chief way in which you cope with your personal issues like being drawn to the refrigerator, whenever you are angry, stressed, lonely, bored, or upset, it indicates that you are moving towards an unhealthy path, in which the real issue is never dealt with.
You need to understand that whatever emotional trouble you are in would never be assuaged by food. While eating may give temporary, at the moment relief, the feelings, which evoked the food craving would, remain as such.
Worse still, you would have messed up with your diet consuming more calories than needed. You will berate yourself for not having control over the amount you eat. This also makes you stop the healthy habits you had, to combat your feelings.
You gain more weight and will find that it is even harder to lose the weight. All these combine and make the situation more complex and serious. Whether it is mouthwatering hamburgers or pizza, you need to limit the food you eat. Granted in situations like the bbq I mentioned before, it is difficult to stop, which I blame on the great smoker. I found out later that the wonderful smoker had been bought at BackyardBBQGuru. The issue to be concerned here is trying to suppress your feelings with food.
If you eat even when you are not hungry or feeling full or think of food as a feel good factor, you need to break free of the vicious cycle of emotional eating, weight gain and stress. The first step is to know the difference between physical and emotional hunger. If the hunger comes on out- of- the- blue and makes you go for the food urgently or you feel that only fatty foods satisfy your hunger or eat mindlessly, it indicates that the hunger is emotional.
I’ve always believed that all people, not just children, can learn concepts and facts much better with periodic breaks for food, physical activity and yes, even a bit of fun throughout the day. It only seems like children are better at picking things up because their brains are so much more elastic than those of adults. It’s not as if there is some one-size-fits-all educational plan that will work for everyone either; that’s not what I’m trying to say here. However, trying to show the same concept to the same student in multiple different ways only gives you that many more chances for your words to sink in.
Making learning physical is something educators have been doing, well, forever. I don’t think it’s even about people learning things better if they can get their hands on them while trying to understand them, though I know that is a factor for many students. Rather, I believe periodic physical activity, as well as working physical activity into a lesson, engages the body as well as the mind and doesn’t leave half of your student sitting there, bored and restless, wishing they were somewhere else. I’m sure there are tons of examples of how this works, but I have a personal one I’d like to share.
Spelling is a place where some students struggle, just like others struggle with basic math and science concepts when trying to grasp them for the first time. But I’ve found a way to make spelling fun for my own children. It’s not exactly practical, but since my daughters both like archery so much, I’ve taken to teaching them difficult words by putting letters on targets and asking them to shoot the letters in the order they should be written for the word given. Of course, I make sure they understand the safety concerns and rules of shooting too; Archery Boot Camp helped me a bit with that part.
There is so much evidence out there that all I really need to do is list a few reliable sources that make the same claim I do about the link between physical activity and improved learning. Columbia University, the New York Department of Health and even the CDC have all done studies which come to the same conclusion I’ve outlined here – that physical activity improves one’s ability to take in information and commit it to memory. You can read more here about archery, but lots of physical activities will provide this same benefit.
Is it as simple as saying that, because the mind and muscles were worked simultaneously, the student might recall something they were studying by flexing a muscle associated with the activity they performed while learning the information? I can’t tell you that part. It seems to me that muscle memory goes a bit deeper than just remembering how to perform certain actions though. It might be that even information can be stored in muscles, but that’s something I would need to read more about before I said anything concrete. Have any of you read about that?
Anger, in a relationship, is a common event contrary to what people have to say on the matter. It is when a couple never fight that you need to be worried and not the other way round. For a relationship to survive and sustain for a longtime, the authentic feelings, differences, and disagreements should be expressed in such a way that the anger does not escalate into damaging results.
On the other hand, complying all the time due to being afraid of making a disturbance or hiding resentments or worse seeing a disagreement as an inevitable breakup, can lead to anxiety and emotional exhaustion. Therefore, if you consider it is not safe to be angry in a relationship, then it is certainly not a safe one. The survival of a romance instead depends not on the skills of aggression avoidance, but taking it on alongside love. So how do you accomplish this uphill task?
During a heated exchange, partners behave in a state where the brain acts in what is termed as flight or fight reaction. This is elicited in response to the angry or scared feeling they get. Heart rate and breathing increases, while all rational and logic thoughts vanish.
Couples should consider ways to manage the anger, when they are in a logical and emotionally calm state, so when such instances occur they have tools to know the triggers and prevent the untoward reactions and control the verbal aggression.
My friend, an easy going person, tries to diffuse an argument by singing her heart out at a karaoke bar. She loves karaoke and when she gets hold of the right sing along machine, you cannot pry the two apart. She says the singing keeps her sane and calm and lets all her anger fizz out. People react to anger in different ways but the important thing here is to control the anger and act in a calm and non-aggressive manner.
When you establish a safety net protecting your relationship, it will help you value the relationship. And it will prevent you from harming each other or threatening and prioritize on the love you have for each other. The trust and love that couples have helps forming the safety net and this paves the way for managing anger better.
Strategies to follow
Since in a relationship both of the partners are involved, it is necessary to observe your own actions and reconsider that of your partner. Consider an issue from both sides, so you can clear away any misunderstanding or miscommunication. People try different tactics. For instance, instead of the time out, they listen to music or go out as my friend did. Since her partner is also a karaoke enthusiast, this worked out well for her. I’m a fan of karaoke myself and love the karaoke parties she hosts at home. She has an excellent karaoke machine she bought at KaraokeIsle.com, which makes the party even more fun.
An enforced time out or other similar distraction strategies will be an effective way to manage the anger. You can follow the time out with a discussion on the issue. Going over it a day later would be more effective, as partners are mostly impressed on the fact that the other person had trusted enough to wait.
When you have made up your mind on getting over a breakup, there are many things to help keep you distracted. If you have an adventurous streak, a trip can offer the right type of distraction for you. Even if you are not that much into daring adventure travel, a simple trekking trip can help you. The effort taken to come out of the comfort zone you have cocooned yourself in will help you face things in a more candid manner and recover fast. Helping others, even if it is a trivial task is a way to get on to the road of recovery. Here are some trips which get you on the recovery road:
The best way to rejuvenate and reboot after a breakup is to travel to a new destination. When you distance yourself from your partner literally, it will give you the space needed to view the situation in a clear perspective.
Once we took our friend who had recently divorced on a hunting trip. It was something entirely new to her and a few others in our group, making the entire adventure an exciting one and sort of catharsis for her. Hunting is a great pastime, if you have the right gear for it. I buy all my hunting essentials at EDGEHUNTING.com to ensure the preparations are secure and appropriate.
As I mentioned before, a daring adventure can easily jolt you out of your depressed and gloomy post break up state. You can take up anything that you consider as daring and challenging such as flying inside a wind tunnel indoors or taking up surfing lessons. Such things help you leave behind the heartbreak and focus on an entirely new and exciting environment.
Set on a cruise
A vacation spent on a cruise is a splendid way to chase away the break up sorrows. You can mingle with the guests or indulge in the plentiful activities available onboard or if things get too hectic, just retire to your cabin and spend your time in solitude. I love hunting much better than going on a cruise as it keeps you alert, watchful and always on the ready. When you are out on hunting trips ensure you wear proper hunting boots, as they help absorb the shock caused and deflect it easily.
Lend a helping hand
Taking part in fundraising efforts for charities is a way to end your self-pity. You can find several charity organizations that are ready to help you come out of your depressed and dull state. The feeling of volunteering for the charities, whether it is to help abused animals or save animals from extinction or find cure for a deadly disease is a great way to heal emotionally. Some of the charity drives such as thrill rides, marathons, and other physically demanding efforts help serve as an emotional purgative too.
If you are not held by your purse strings, you can try splurging on a luxury cruise, a beach destination or spend time in a casino. The time you have pampering yourself will help you gain the balance you have lost because of the break up.
Although it is common to feel that doomsday has arrived when you break up, you can actually get over it and start over anew. Since breakups are part of relationships and experienced by everyone at some point or other in their romantic lives, knowing how to cope up with the despair, confusion, and loss will help you get over the rough patch and emerge unscathed, almost.
In reality, there is no specific recovery formula for breakups. Individuals differ in the reactions they exhibit when a relationship ends. Factors such as emotional involvement level, attachment, gender, and age play important roles.
Further, the circumstances, and how others interpret it also come into play. For instance, if you are in an abusive relationship, a breakup may look positive. But if you had been blissfully happy, a break up can bring you sadness and despair.
The way people react to a break up also differs. While some women take to vigorous cleaning or baking, I have a friend who cooks up delicious recipes, which she finds online. She has an efficient meat grinder, which she uses to cook the best dishes ever.
Although such reactions are normal, you can find some people reacting extremely going into depression and suicidal behavior when they breakup. Anxiety after a breakup may also turn into vengeful and angry reactions from the individuals involved leading to destructive behavior. Here are some ways to help you cope.
Instead of dwelling on thoughts about what your partner did or didn’t do, try focusing inwards and if this is not helping much and you have turned reclusive try socializing and focus on your family and friends instead.
Build confidence in yourself. Indulge in things you love to do either alone or with your friends or family. Whenever I find things are not going, as they should, I go out on a long walk or hiking trip. The friend I mentioned earlier would invite me and a few other friends for an impromptu party and the fun we have makes her forget all her worries and the advice we give help her view things in a new perspective.
Since her cooking is great especially the meat loaf she makes is simple fabulous which makes us demand it be part of the menu, when we meet up. Her meat grinder, which she bought at MeatGrinderAdviser.com, is a splendid machine, which she recommends to us all. But I’d rather eat her cooking, as when it comes to cooking I tend to mess up even the most simple recipes.
Avoid the blame game
Blaming yourself or your partner is not going to help even a little bit. Even if this is difficult to stomach, you should stop blaming and move on. And sometimes not being given the chance to talk things over to find the reasons for the split can be very hard, but if you intend to move on this has to be done.
Being actively involved in other pursuits, as I said before, helps to soothe your emotional pain. You can go on a shopping trip, treat yourself to a spa session, clean the house, change the furniture, or give a new coating of paint to your home or any other task, which keeps your mind free of the pain, anger and confusion, so you can gain control over your feelings and find a proper solution.